Dealing With Distractions
Distractions are more often negative than positive and can lead to failure...
Failure to have a healthy relationship;
Failure to give your children the time they deserve;
Failure to complete deadlines;
Failure to be physically be on time;
Failure to keep or build trust;
Failure to learn and experience more;
Failure to increase your income and have financial stability;
Failure to be physically fit;
Failure to process emotions, especially pertaining to pain and loss;
Failure to live a happy, balanced and free life.
Focus and clarity is necessary to achieve success in any aspect of your life.
Failure to have a healthy relationship;
Failure to give your children the time they deserve;
Failure to complete deadlines;
Failure to be physically be on time;
Failure to keep or build trust;
Failure to learn and experience more;
Failure to increase your income and have financial stability;
Failure to be physically fit;
Failure to process emotions, especially pertaining to pain and loss;
Failure to live a happy, balanced and free life.
Focus and clarity is necessary to achieve success in any aspect of your life.
What is distracting you?
Distractions are everywhere and I'm not just talking about technology.
Yes, cell phones, television, video games, YouTube, Facebook...they can all be huge distractions. Some, even causing disabling or fatal accidents.
Technology aside, there are many other forms of distractions, like: fears, insecurities, family, friends, partners, home, school, work, finances, health, love, sex, self worth, values, addiction, disabilities, dyslexia, compulsive disorders, PTSD, ADHD, and the effects of abuse. Although there are numerous distractions not listed, I think you can understand why each of the things listed can be a distraction for you.
Imagine you are getting ready for work. Your partner comes into the room while you are gathering up your things and says, "I need to talk about something."
If you have heard this statement before you may already feel your stomach turn, you say to yourself "here we go again" all while you start listing off in your head all the possible topics they may want to talk about; fully knowing you do not have the time to listen.
Do you feel like they are not respecting your time?
Do you feel obligated to give them a few minutes because of how they will react if you don't give them time...feeling like it's a kind of catch 22 scenario?
What if they're angry when they told you they needed to talk. What feelings do you have now, on top of what you felt before?
Keep in mind you have 15 minutes to get out the door. Your partner is not recognizing that this is not the best time to talk. Maybe their timing is deliberate. You want to be there for them, so you tell them...
"Okay what do you want to talk about? - I have to leave in 15 and I'm not ready to leave yet. - Can you follow me around while we talk?"
Regardless of the content, do you think you will be able to focus enough to remember where you put your keys?
Did you get all the things you needed for work?
While you are talking, are you getting frustrated and resentful that now is the time they chose to bring things up?
"I can't talk right now, but I will be glad to talk to you later, when I get home from work", is something you may have said, did you?
Do the kids run in and out of the room, while all this is going on?
How does your partner feel about the lack of disconnect while they are trying to talk to you?
How are you both reacting to one another?
It's a lot isn't it?
Let's go one step further...when you get to the car do you have to go back in for a few more things you forgot?
Are you late getting to work?
What is your anxiety level, all the way to where you were going, fearing you'd be late?
How well did you drive on the way to work, were you distracted or drive emotionally?
Were you distracted by your thoughts and miss an exit?
Or worse...did you black out and get to work and not even remember the drive there, driving on auto pilot?
Once you're at work,...
Can you focus on what you're supposed to do or is the conversation with you partner still haunting you while you're working?
How many times are you distracted by something either you said or they said, do you repeat it over and over in your head?
Do you ask yourself just what did they mean by that?
Do you want to call them and talk, because you're bothered by what was said?
What percentage of your focus is on work?
How are you feeling?
Angry?
Frustrated?
Irritated?
Do you feel disrespected, like they in some way sabotaged your leaving the house on time and/or your ability to work?
Are you upset with yourself for not asking for what you needed...to wait and talk later?
There is a lot going on in your mind and body right now.
Perhaps, these questions reminded you of a similar experience and you're feeling them all over again.
Can you see how easy it is to be distracted by a situation, person, thought, feelings, or a memory?
Although a lot of interactions and/or discussions can be difficult due to a lack of communication skills and poor emotional management, not all distractions have to be negative. Distractions can also be positive. Even some of the things we may view as being "time wasters" can be moments of our greatest lessons, a mental and physical respite, a personal motivator.
Distractions are everywhere and I'm not just talking about technology.
Yes, cell phones, television, video games, YouTube, Facebook...they can all be huge distractions. Some, even causing disabling or fatal accidents.
Technology aside, there are many other forms of distractions, like: fears, insecurities, family, friends, partners, home, school, work, finances, health, love, sex, self worth, values, addiction, disabilities, dyslexia, compulsive disorders, PTSD, ADHD, and the effects of abuse. Although there are numerous distractions not listed, I think you can understand why each of the things listed can be a distraction for you.
Imagine you are getting ready for work. Your partner comes into the room while you are gathering up your things and says, "I need to talk about something."
If you have heard this statement before you may already feel your stomach turn, you say to yourself "here we go again" all while you start listing off in your head all the possible topics they may want to talk about; fully knowing you do not have the time to listen.
Do you feel like they are not respecting your time?
Do you feel obligated to give them a few minutes because of how they will react if you don't give them time...feeling like it's a kind of catch 22 scenario?
What if they're angry when they told you they needed to talk. What feelings do you have now, on top of what you felt before?
Keep in mind you have 15 minutes to get out the door. Your partner is not recognizing that this is not the best time to talk. Maybe their timing is deliberate. You want to be there for them, so you tell them...
"Okay what do you want to talk about? - I have to leave in 15 and I'm not ready to leave yet. - Can you follow me around while we talk?"
Regardless of the content, do you think you will be able to focus enough to remember where you put your keys?
Did you get all the things you needed for work?
While you are talking, are you getting frustrated and resentful that now is the time they chose to bring things up?
"I can't talk right now, but I will be glad to talk to you later, when I get home from work", is something you may have said, did you?
Do the kids run in and out of the room, while all this is going on?
How does your partner feel about the lack of disconnect while they are trying to talk to you?
How are you both reacting to one another?
It's a lot isn't it?
Let's go one step further...when you get to the car do you have to go back in for a few more things you forgot?
Are you late getting to work?
What is your anxiety level, all the way to where you were going, fearing you'd be late?
How well did you drive on the way to work, were you distracted or drive emotionally?
Were you distracted by your thoughts and miss an exit?
Or worse...did you black out and get to work and not even remember the drive there, driving on auto pilot?
Once you're at work,...
Can you focus on what you're supposed to do or is the conversation with you partner still haunting you while you're working?
How many times are you distracted by something either you said or they said, do you repeat it over and over in your head?
Do you ask yourself just what did they mean by that?
Do you want to call them and talk, because you're bothered by what was said?
What percentage of your focus is on work?
How are you feeling?
Angry?
Frustrated?
Irritated?
Do you feel disrespected, like they in some way sabotaged your leaving the house on time and/or your ability to work?
Are you upset with yourself for not asking for what you needed...to wait and talk later?
There is a lot going on in your mind and body right now.
Perhaps, these questions reminded you of a similar experience and you're feeling them all over again.
Can you see how easy it is to be distracted by a situation, person, thought, feelings, or a memory?
Although a lot of interactions and/or discussions can be difficult due to a lack of communication skills and poor emotional management, not all distractions have to be negative. Distractions can also be positive. Even some of the things we may view as being "time wasters" can be moments of our greatest lessons, a mental and physical respite, a personal motivator.
"It's true that technology can be a huge distraction, but certainly not where all distractions begin. Distractions begin at our core: who we are; what we value; how we process information; how we act and react to information; what we've learned and how we've been conditioned to do, feel and say things throughout our lifetime. The good thing is that we can always change. We are able to learn how to focus and see things from new perspectives, at any given moment. You only have to decide that you want to change, commit to those changes and have the guidance you need to make positive changes happen." CJ Harlan
To begin making change happen, you can certainly play memory games to improve your attention to detail and increase your retention. These games have proven to make a difference in exercising your brain in ways that will benefit you. However, you need to face your biggest distractions: fear, insecurity, anxiety, and pain, or life as you know it will continue to exist "As-Is"; goals will remain hard or impossible to meet; and you can fail to achieve what you want to accomplish, when...you could be succeeding.
The biggest distractions in life can be broken down into four main categories: one, how you affect yourself; two, how others affect you; three how your environment affects you; and four, how you process information. Once you understand where your distractions are coming from and how you process the information, then...with guidance, you can customize a plan that sets you up for clear attainable goals, focus and success.
The biggest distractions in life can be broken down into four main categories: one, how you affect yourself; two, how others affect you; three how your environment affects you; and four, how you process information. Once you understand where your distractions are coming from and how you process the information, then...with guidance, you can customize a plan that sets you up for clear attainable goals, focus and success.
"ADHD in my opinion is a very real problem for many, yet I strongly feel that too many are labeled too quickly and are not actually suffering from ADHD. More likely they are suffering from emotional distractions related to some form of trauma related to mismanaging pain or loss. Death, being neglected, abandoned, abused, and in some cases it may be more accurate to say PTSD, can all be major distractions. If the core reason for someone's true distractions are not fully understood, diagnosed correctly, and treated, it could lead to self destructive, ADD and ADHD type behaviors. It's only when we better understand these deeper reasons for someone's distractions, can we redirect their attention more successfully long-term." CJ Harlan
Through assessments, consistent guidance and ongoing support, CJ Harlan and other professionals can help you learn, confront and overcome what is truly distracting you. Once we define what is distracting you, you can then learn how to live with fewer distractions. You can become more productive, efficient and successful in all the areas of your life.
For more information on how you or someone you know can gain clarity, increase focus and achieve more, Contact CJ, today.
Through assessments, consistent guidance and ongoing support, CJ Harlan and other professionals can help you learn, confront and overcome what is truly distracting you. Once we define what is distracting you, you can then learn how to live with fewer distractions. You can become more productive, efficient and successful in all the areas of your life.
For more information on how you or someone you know can gain clarity, increase focus and achieve more, Contact CJ, today.
