Empowerment For Our Teens
Under estimating or dismissing a young adult's stress load is...
One of the biggest mistakes that an adult can make, regarding a child.
You are sending them a message that says...you, your feelings and your problems are not important.
In order to understand how to empower our teens, we have to know why they need empowerment...
One reason why, is the fact that teens take in and process far more information today, than teens of yesteryear.
Due to the fact that we know:
our toddlers are capable of learning at incredible rates and enroll them in preschool as soon as they're out of diapers; most parents have to work full time;
a lot of parents did not live up to their own dreams, their parent's expectations and they want more for their kids; divorce, substance abuse, domestic violence, suicide and mental illness rates keep increasing;
debts and adult stress has increased while job opportunities and income has decreased...
We need to recognize the influences that effect our youth's ability to be functioning, healthy, happy, responsible, thriving teens.
By the time many children have reached the age of 15, the following is true: they have already been in a competitive environment, aspiring to meet deadlines and expectations in a structured learning environment for 11 years; they have spent (on average) more waking hours in 5 days with care givers and teachers than they have spent with their parents in a weeks time (Monday through Sunday); they connect with their parents on a need to know basis; they have experienced more stress, at and early age, due to performance anxiety; they are experimenting with substances; are having sex; are prone to eating disorders; are victims of abuse; have considered or attempted self injury or suicide; are imprinted with negative messages, images and behaviors; and are witness to more personal, national and global violence than ever before.
"Parents and care givers need to understand the effects of a "drive-thru childhood', in order to reduce the amount of stress and pain a teen experiences... It's no wonder we have so many children dressed up in adult clothing, trying to play the part of an adult from the age of 15 through adulthood...when so many parents are focused on producing adults in children's clothing, from birth." CJ Harlan
When you add it all up: academic pressures; sport schedules for practices, home and away games; relationship stress; parental expectations; spiritual expectations; family chores; taking care of younger siblings; working a job and trying to find time to socialize; drug and alcohol temptations; fears; insecurities; weight; body image; living conditions; parent's relationship; and current events...It's no wonder teens want to quit, sleep in and tune out.
The sad reality is...there are fewer differences between adult and teen stress inducers, today.
Given this information, it is easy to understand that when we say things like...
"What do you have to stress about?"
"You think you have it bad, wait until you're an adult!"
"Get over it!"
We are giving our kids the wrong messages.
Instead, if we want to better our connections and keep the doors of communication open....We should be giving them a hug, telling them that some days do suck and that we understand their feelings. We should be pulling up a chair and sitting down to listen to them. We should, as adults, be secure enough to hear what they have to say, without getting defensive or punishing them for talking about their life. If you need help keeping your cool when you listen and share, be sure to get the coaching you need to be successful.
How do we empower our teens?
By knowing when to step in and out.
By taking an interest in them.
By acknowledging and accepting them, their accomplishments and their dreams.
By teaching them how to build and develop trust, respect, values and beliefs.
By listening to them without judgment.
By giving them the attention and support they need.
By providing them with opportunities to succeed and celebrating with them when they do.
By modeling healthy behaviors for them to emulate.
By setting them up to succeed with attainable goals and realistic expectations.
By giving them a positive environment in which to live and thrive.
By loving them unconditionally, despite what you may have been given.
If you have a hard time doing any of the above or are getting resistance from your teen, Contact CJ.
CJ is an advocate for both parents and their teens. She understands that life and parenting can be hard if you don't have the right knowledge, guidance, support and tools to make it easier.
CJ Harlan offers individual and group empowerment sessions to teens to help them:
face their stress, fears, insecurities, loss, pain and anxiety
increase their self worth, respect, value, confidence, and esteem
define, set and achieve their goals
learn how to express their feelings and communicate better with their parents, peers, teachers and employers
learn ways to focus, retain more and problem solve
establish healthy boundaries, expectations and relationships
and much more...
In addition to teen sessions, CJ also offers empowerment sessions for parents and family.
For more details, Contact CJ.
Start making change a part of your life, today.
face their stress, fears, insecurities, loss, pain and anxiety
increase their self worth, respect, value, confidence, and esteem
define, set and achieve their goals
learn how to express their feelings and communicate better with their parents, peers, teachers and employers
learn ways to focus, retain more and problem solve
establish healthy boundaries, expectations and relationships
and much more...
In addition to teen sessions, CJ also offers empowerment sessions for parents and family.
For more details, Contact CJ.
Start making change a part of your life, today.
